I was walking down the street doing a little window shopping with my fiancée and saw a little sign in one of the shop windows that said “Have the Cabana where’s the Boy”? My fiancée and I had to laugh because he knows of my adventures as a cougar. They were fun and helped get me back into the swing of being single after a very painful divorce at 40 something. I’ve discovered a few tips along the way and some ins and outs of what its like to date a younger man and how to attract them.
1. Look your best. Let’s face it, not everyone looks like Demi Moore or Cher – famous Cougars. And not everyone can afford plastic surgery. The good news is that you don’t have to. Just make the most of what you have. Dress fashionably, paint your toenails and fingernails, wear nice jewelry, color and style your hair in the latest fashion, and wear fashionable clothes. In other words, take care of yourself.
2. Feel good about who you are. I went back to college after I got divorced at 42. Going back to college really made me feel good about myself. I discovered talents I didn’t know existed. I met new people and made some new friends. I also studied a lot and made good grades. Studying and attending classes made me feel good and gave me a sense of accomplishment.
3. Have your own life and stay busy. Having girlfriends kept me busy and gave me something to do. I also joined a support network group and we did things together. I invited people over to my house for cook-outs and movie nights. I also went to lots of college football games.
4. Don’t look for a young guy to be able to take care of you or pay for everything. Most young guys don’t make a lot of money, may be in school or newly establishing a career. But don’t pay for everything. Expect him to take you out occasionally, and go “dutch” sometimes. I’ve gone to some fun places that were either free or very inexpensive. Some of the things we did were canoeing, kayaking, swimming in lakes and cold water springs, and camping.
5. Don’t be afraid to do things because you’re “too old.” One summer when I was dating a particular guy, we went to a State park with cold water springs and a boat tour. While there my boyfriend asked to dive off a high dive with him. It didn’t occur to me to think I was too old for it. We jumped off the high dive together and it was very exuberating at almost 50 years old to splash so hard into the water with him.
6. Have some younger friends. I lived in a college town for a few years so it was easy to meet younger people. My neighbors were much younger and had a lot of parties they invited me to. I occasionally accepted and also invited them to my place for dinner. We also had cook-outs together. In the process of all of that fun stuff, of course I met lots of younger guys.
Dating someone younger can be just as much fun for a woman as it can be for a man. The relationship can be what you want it to be. Many older women and younger men actually do have a relationship with substance and others do not. It really depends on what each person is looking for. One thing’s for sure, it’s definitely worth having at least one younger boyfriend in your life. And they’re definitely fun to look at!